Squashing Litterbugs
October 2nd 2006 23:13
My front paddock
Despite endless advertisements about Keeping Australia Beautiful... despite money back schemes on bottles and charges on plastic bags... despite litter bags in cars and increased road side bins.... the litterbug is alive and well.
There are different classes of litter bugs.
First, there is the "DROP IT ANYWHERE" bug. These are the people who, at the Royal Show or sporting events find it impossible to walk the three metres to the clearly marked bins. A country version of these bugs are those who leave bottles, cans and miriade varieties of paper where they stop, or even throw them from their car windows onto the road side verges, rather than keeping the rubbish with them until they find a bin.
The second group of litterbugs are the "LET'S SEE IF WE CAN HIDE IT" bug. We are all familiar with the notion of finding lolly papers down the back of the chairs in cinemas and on bus seats and the chewing gum stuck under the table. In the country these are the people who put their rubbish in a hollow of a tree, a farmer's mail box or put a bag of rubbish under a bridge or in a creek bed.
A close relative of that bug is the "I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?" bug. These are the forgetful types who simply leave things behind or young mischeivous bugs who throw belongings of others out the window of their car or school bus and leave a trail of odd socks, odd shoes, baby's toys, an occassional book, newspapers, jumpers, balls and even undies (no comment!) beside the road. These bugs are sometimes found in parks and beaches in the city areas, I believe.
Most litter bugs are reluctantly tolerated for their nuisance value- but there is one bug all country people would cheerfully squash. This is the "FIRE BUG LITTERBUG" - the most dangerous of all. There are two types. One is the "Cigarette Flicker" - smokers who throw their still lit butts out the window and leave a trail of sparks bouncing down the road and into the dry grassy verge. The other is the "Leave the camp fire burning" bug. These bugs are hopefully slowly being bred out of existance, but while they exist they should be immediately reported to the authorities. They are very close relations to the deliberate fire bugs and require the same treatment.
There is one spray that can be used on all litterbugs. It's trade name is "COURTESY" and it uses the slogans often seen in parks - such as "Leave nothing but footprints' and "Stow it don't throw it". If "COURTESY" is used liberally by you and your friends, you will never have a farmer picnicking on your front lawn - unless you have invited him, of course! I promise!
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Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Keep squashing those bugs, you're doing the world a huge favour.
A.H.